What Are the Signs of Online Grooming?
Online grooming follows a real, recognizable pattern, and it rarely starts with anything alarming.
It starts with a follow, a like, a compliment. TAARA’s Caregiver Guide breaks it into six stages,
so a parent can recognize the pattern before it escalates, not after.
The Six Stages of Grooming
Grooming rarely looks like a stranger in a dark alley. It follows a pattern, and knowing the
pattern is what lets a parent catch it early.
1. Friendly start
A follow, a like, a compliment. Nothing alarming on its own.
2. Getting personal
“Where do you go to school?” “Do you have a boyfriend or girlfriend?” Ordinary
questions, asked by someone who has no reason to be asking them.
3. Pulling them away
“Don’t tell your friends about us.” “You’re so mature for your age.” “Let’s talk on another app.”
This is the stage where a child gets isolated from anyone who might notice.
4. Building romance
Compliments about their body. “Send me a selfie, I’ll send one back.”
5. Raising the stakes
“You already sent one, why not this?” Small gifts start showing up: gift cards, gaming
credits, cash.
6. Threats
“Send more, or pay, or I’ll share this with your family and school.”
None of these six stages requires the platform you’d expect. It happens in game chat as often
as social media, and it can move fast; some real cases move from stage one to stage six in
under a week.
What's Changed: AI Companion Apps, Nudify Apps, and Voice Cloning
The six stages haven’t changed. The tools around them have.
AI companion apps (like Character.AI) act like a friend or a crush. Kids can form real emotional
bonds with them. Tonight, ask: “Have you ever talked to an AI chat app?”
Nudify apps turn any normal photo into a fake explicit image in seconds. According to Thorn’s 2026 research on deepfake nudes, 1 in 17 teens reported they had deepfake nudes created of
them by someone else. Tonight, tell them: “Fake doesn’t mean harmless. If it happens, come to me.”
AI voice cloning can turn a few seconds of your child’s own voice, pulled from any video, into a convincing fake phone call. Tonight, set a family safe word.
What to Do Tonight
You don’t need to memorize all six stages to act on this. Pick one thing: ask about the apps before there’s a reason to, agree on a family safe word, or just tell your kid plainly that they can come to you if something online ever feels wrong, and that they won’t be in trouble for telling you. If your child is ever mid-conversation at stage three or four, the only thing that matters is that they already knew they could talk to you.
Want the full version to keep on hand? Download the TAARA Caregiver Guide, or get one tool like this in your inbox every month with HUGS, TAARA’s newsletter for caregivers.
Related Reading
- AI Companion Apps and Nudify Apps, What’s Actually New (independent Ask TAARA topic): the fuller version of the AI-tools section above, kept separate here so this piece and that one don’t compete for the same search terms.
- The Jordan DeMay Case, What It Teaches Every Parent (independent Ask TAARA topic): a real case that shows stages five and six playing out, in full.
- This month’s HUGS newsletter (October): the version of this pattern written for caregivers who want the short, actionable form.
Sources
- TAARA Caregiver Guide (six-stage grooming pattern, AI threats section)
- Thorn, “Deepfake nudes are a harmful reality for youth,” 2026